It has been a day of focusing on thankful things and preparing our hearts for advent, one of mending fraying edges of sibling relationship, and of remembering Whose we are and who we want to be to one another. Sitting down with each of my sweetlings in private conversation and heart-search has been tough and just so very grand. Isn't it amazing how those two things can be so intimately paired? There is nothing, not one single thing, that I would accept in the place of knowing my children and having them know me (as painful as it can be for me to see my faults in their eyes, behavior).
One would think that spending the moments, hours, days, and years together as we do that it would be a bit easier to remain constant in the diligence that is required for maintaining love, joy, peace and all the rest of that wonderful fruit in our relationships together. But I find, over and over, that it is not in any way akin to the process of osmosis! Ha! Just like I cannot place a book on my head and absorb what's inside, I cannot just speak love, quote love, dream love and expect it to be. I have to be love. Moment to moment and very much on purpose, intentionally loving them as a crew and individually --even when I am weary, even when I am just done with the concept of "mom", even when my own expectations, dreams, cares are shattered, even when... always love.
So, being love. One step by one step I am becoming. Oh, the mistakes! Oh, the failures! But by Christ's great mercy, grace, and love, I am becoming, we are becoming ♥